Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize