He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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