Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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