how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
