Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
