i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
