Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
