just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize