Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Apparently you make a good broom.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
