Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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