He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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