it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize