doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
