Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
