i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
You smell like stripper and shame
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
