may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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