just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
