He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The feeling are messing with the penis
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
