found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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