you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
