so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
