the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
