last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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