Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
