I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
