guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize