I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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