I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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