never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Found your dick twin last night
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
