its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
