Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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