I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
