it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
