he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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