While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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