Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
