i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
