theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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