Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize