Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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