We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
The Olympian is in my bed
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