i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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