Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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