gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize