I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
