Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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