Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
