I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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