our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize