how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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