Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
