i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize