Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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