I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
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