mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize