apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize