Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
