so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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