Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
