Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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