dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Who died my cat blue again?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
