I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
