she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
