Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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