ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
