Me too!
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
