I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I met the friendliest cop last night
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
