Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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