oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize