i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
operation have a gay friend backfired
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
