white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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