Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Randomize
