In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
